Good afternoon, class. Today’s lesson is on the importance of looking at your food before consuming it. To illustrate, we have a special guest appearance. This cheerful green pepper was sliced open by one of my coworkers during dinner preparations last autumn. Like the Virgin Mary Toast, all evidence of this miraculous occurrence would have been lost had she tossed the pepper core without a glance. Let us all have a moment to pause and reflect on the tragedy and waste so narrowly averted.

Thank you. I hope each and every one of you now understands why it is important to always look before you eat, or slice, or throw away your food. Any questions? Good. Class dismissed.

Now the details, since I know some will ask. First of all, I can vouch for the picture, since I’m the one who took it. That’s my desk underneath it, and my Christmas cactus blooming in the background. How could I not capture it on, uh, pixels, when presented with such a spectacle on a day when I happened to have my camera at work with me? The only retouching consisted of adjusting the lighting (too dark), sharpening (too blurry), rotating (too vertical), cropping (too big), and resizing (again, too big). You can trust me. I’m a writer. I may exaggerate, but I never lie. And, finally, if you’re having trouble getting your bearings, click here for a larger version of the above photo, or here to see the opposite side of the slice.