I live in a tourist town, which means that in certain seasons we are overrun by camera-toting sightseers intent on packing in as much adventure as their credit cards and cranky kids will allow. From early spring to late fall work hours increase as many businesses close later, grocery stores morph into scary places filled with clots of vacationers and their cockeyed carts, and our favorite restaurants are inundated by sun-stunned visitors escaping the heat. Shortly thereafter I begin to have nightmares in which our house is taken over by unwelcome tourists who feel that we are unreasonable for not letting them wash their Hummers in our backyard.
Whenever possible during these crazy months, hubs and I escape our personal half-acre of paradise to take pictures of other wonders and spend time with someone else’s tourists for a while. Although the scenery’s different, many of the tourists look exactly the same, as we’ve discovered by traveling widely. This year it will be California. Last year it was South Carolina. In August. In record heat.
After growing up in a Midwestern city that attracted many businesses and college students but nary a tourist, living in a place like this has been an experience. When your daily life is someone else’s vacation, you learn a lot. For example, I’ve learned when to visit the grocery store, which streets and restaurants to avoid and, most importantly, how to dress like a local. The last skill has netted me requests for directions in several neighboring states, Philadelphia, Boston, and Madrid. It may not be handy if you don’t know your way around the town you’re visiting, but it can help you avoid getting scammed by people who take advantage of clueless travelers, and it can net you better service in restaurants, bars, and grocery stores.
Giving the appearance that you’re at home isn’t that difficult. The number one rule is: Avoid wearing fanny packs. Locals and attentive tourists alike have beheld the horrors of such adornments in large concentrations, and so they do not use them. This is not to say that fanny packs don’t have their perks; if your butt is too flat, for example, they provide the illusion of bulk. Since I’ll never have that problem, I eschew them altogether. Rule number two: Be nice to wait staff and other service people. Also, drive like you have at least a passing familiarity with traffic laws. Walk with confidence, even if you don’t know where you’re going, and learn to look but not gawk. And finally, for the love of God, do not take video footage of buildings, mountains, trees, or other unmoving objects.
See? It’s not too tough. For bonus points, don’t use a local’s garden hose to wash your car without their permission. They don’t like that sort of thing.
LOL, Caryn! I never try to blend in, LOL. I always wear a fanny pack because I hate carrying a purse, and I take pictures of everything. I love taking pictures. I’m nice to wait staff and I’ve never used anyone’s–including my own–garden hose to wash the car. 🙂
This reminds me of the advice I received many years ago when moving to NYC. Try to blend in. I think their major concern, however, was that I not get mugged.
Still, these many years later, it is fun to visit the city and not always feel like a tourist. Although, when I ran in to visit Sam and Lani, I was conciously aware that I no longer owned a weather appropriate coat that a New Yorker would wear. Now that I live closer, I might try to adjust the wardrobe some…
I gave up on fitting in the older I got, vacations included. I live in the frigid North and not a fan of warm weather, so when I visit, let’s say, Florida, those folks can deal with my fair skin – I’m not one to fry in the tanning bed just so I’ll blend. Like I need to add to the unfairness of aging already.
Last year, I was commutting to NYC several times a month. After the first few trips, I stopped looking up at the skyscrapers and spent my observational time while walking down the street gawking — maybe it was a stern look that said “You’re such an idiot” — at the people who took video of the buildings. I somehow resisted the urge to tap offenders on the shoulder and say “Pssst: “It isn’t moving”. If I had the time, I think I would have taken a day to take pictures — maybe even video — of the people who do this at the intersection of 34th & Broadway: first shooting the Empire State Building, then crossing the street (or standing in the middle of it!) to video Macy’s. Imagine the hours of entertainment they must have watching those buildings!
This was so much fun to read, Caryn! From the sounds of it, I bet you might find a few interesting folks to inspire some secondary characters in your writing. Living about forty-five minutes from LA/Hollywood, I’m laughing at thinking about when I go into town. It cracks me up what people are videoing and taking pictures of. And the fanny packs? LOL I wouldn’t be caught dead wearing one – ever!
Spyscribbler, as long as you don’t care about looking like a local, flaunt it! 😉
Ilana, I can see how getting mugged could be an issue. I got the same advice when I traveled to Mexico, but I never could totally fit in there. Something to do with my skin, eyes, and hair color, I think. 😉
Kath, an excellent point. Tanning isn’t worth it just to fit in.
Cam, it doesn’t take long to stop feeling like a tourist and start feeling comfortable if you want to, does it? And I laughed at your description of the tourists and their video cameras. Now if something were moving, that I could probably see! But stationary buildings???
Thanks, Robin! And, yeah, I bet you have a ton of stories! You’ll have to let me know if I look like a tourist when I’m in LA (I can’t wait!!!).
Hehe. You know, when I was visiting Chicago, the way you blended in with the locals was to drive like you HAD TO GET SOMEWHERE FAST and disregard all driving rules and regulations. It was crazy. And fun. And scary. Chicago drivers are vicious.
Locals don’t wear fanny packs? 😉
I live in a tourist town too, and I arrange my life around avoiding certain streets, shops, restaurants, etc during the summer months. I’m glad that they’re having fun, enjoying themselves, and spending money in the local shops, but the traffic- I could do without.
You need to do a generational ‘how to blend in’ commentary as well. My mother, brother and I had to have an intervention with my dad after the Seattle vacation where we noticed he was wearing (hand to God–true story): white tennis shoes, black socks, bermuda shorts, plaid button-up shirt, promotional baseball cap and a camera bag.
Caryn, please don’t ever do this to your kids. As you can tell, I’m still scarred these twenty years later.